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of the last quarto, apparently referring to the tug-of war.
the hares and to all those who joined in the fun.
This one is a compiliation of insults/cheers from U.S. playgrounds, the movies Wildcats and Bring It On, and the minds of various sick hashers!
You aint got no alibi,
You’re ugly, hey hey, you’re ugly!
You could make an onion cry,
You’re ugly, hey hey, you’re ugly!
That’s the way you have to f*ck,
You’re ugly, hey hey, you’re ugly!
How you think you got that way?
Your mama, hey hey, your mama!
You don’t even know that guy!
Your daddy, hey hey, your daddy!
You wish you were more like me!
I’m Cute, hey hey, I’m cute!
You don’t need no birth control,
You’re gay, hey hey, you’re gay!
You don’t use no Soft-N-Dry,
You’re musty, hey hey, you’re musty!
We know your real Daddy’s.
Your Uncle, hey hey, your Uncle!
We know where you got those breasts,
You bought ’em, hey hey, you bought ’em!
We can smell your sister’s thighs,
They’re fishy, hey hey, they’re fishy!
This version written by Nipple Me Elmo and One Kiss Shy of the Big House Hash House Harriers.
[Pack] Up jumped the harriet from the big heads hash (pack repeats each line)
She was a cool Harriette you could tell by her ass.
She wore an itty bitty mini with a three button stitch.
She was a fast talking short cuttin smart ass bitch.
She strolled through the circle with her tits in her hand.
And said “look at me. I’m the queen of the land”
She lined 100 hares up against the wall.
She bet 10 bucks she could snare them all.
She snared 98 and that was nothin new.
She laughed off. ran off.. and snared the other 2!
Up jumped the Harriette from the Big Heads Hash!
Spoken, adapted from a now banned Army running cadence.
[Pack]Up jumped the monkey, etc, etc, (pack repeats each line)
He was a cool mother fucker you could tell from his clothes.
He wore a two button Nanny with a six button stitch.
He was a hot fuckin’ cock suckin’ son of a bitch.
Well he strode through the jungle with his prick in his hand.
He said: “Look out women, I’m your bebop man!”
Oh, he lined a hundred women up against the wall.
He bet ten bucks he could gonna fuck ’em all!”
Well he fucked ninety-eight till his balls turned blue.
Backed off, jacked off, and fucked the other two.
[Leader] Are you gonna get one?
[Pack] You Bet! It’s rising no-o-ow.
By Richard Lederer (copyrighted material)
The inhabitants of ancient Egypt were called mummies. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate in the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere, so certain areas of the dessert are cultivated by irritation. The Egyptians built the pyramids in the shape of a huge triangular cube. The pyramids are a range of mountains between France and Spain.
The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible, Guinesses, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of their children, Cain, once asked, “Am I my brother’s son?” God asked Abraham to sacrifice Isaac on Mount Montezuma. Jacob, son of Isaac, stole his brother’s birth mark. Jacob was a patriarch who brought up his twelve sons to be patriarchs, but they did not take to it. One of Jacob’s sons, Joseph, gave refuse to the Israelites.
Pharaoh forced the Hebrew slaves to make bread without straw. Moses led them to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients. Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought with the philatelists, a race of people who lived in biblical times. Solomon, one of David’s sons, had 500 wives and 500 porcupines.
Without the Greeks we wouldn’t have history. The Greeks invented three kinds of columns – Corinthian, Doric, and Ironic. They also had myths. A myth is a female moth. One myth says that the mother of Achilles dipped him in the River Stynx until he became intollerable. Achilles appears in The Iliad, by Homer. Homer also wrote The Oddity, in which Penelope was the last hardship that Ulysses endured on his journey. Actually, Homer was not written by Homer but by another man of that name.
Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock.
In the Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled the biscuits, and threw the java. The reward to the victor was a coral wreath. The government of Athens was democratic because people took the law into their own hands. There were no wars in Greece, as the mountains were so high that they couldn’t climb over to see what their neighbors were doing. When they fought with the Persians, the Greeks were outnumbered because the Persians had more men.
Eventually the Ramons conquered the Geeks. History calls people Romans because they never stayed in one place for very long. At Roman banquets, the guests wore garlics in their hair. Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Nero was a cruel tyranny who would torture his poor subjects by playing the fiddle to them.

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